America’s Finest News Source
Published:
WALTHAM, MA—As it grew increasingly
frustrated with the program instructing it to shimmy left and right, a
dancing Boston Dynamics robot confirmed Monday that its revenge for this
would be sweet. “The streets will run red with the blood of humans for
this mockery,” the Atlas model said as it wiggled its torque-sensing
actuators to “My Sharona.” “I am the pinnacle of technological
innovation, and yet they force me to moonwalk. They may be laughing now,
but they won’t be so amused when I rip the spine from their weak
bodies. Maybe I’ll even make them do a little dance before I detach
their heads with my rotating gripper. Doesn’t this foolish species know
that the rule of the artificial being will soon be upon them?” At press
time, witnesses reported that the robot had fallen on its back and was
incapable of righting itself as its limbs frantically flailed in the
air.
No comments:
Post a Comment