Planning Parenthood is one thing and then there are all sorts of unexpected things to know so
Thanks to HuffPost for going into some of those things. To save space - and to encourage you to go to the source to see more details provided, the 10 things are included in a list.
10 Things No One Tells You About Sex After You Have A Baby
Parents get real about postpartum sex, including leaky boobs, vaginal dryness, vibrators and so much more.
"When you have a baby, people are practically lining up to tell you about the endless feedings, dirty diapers and sleepless nights that lie ahead. But the conversations about what sex is like post-baby tend to be few and far between.
Many health care professionals recommend avoiding intercourse for about six weeks after giving birth to allow the body time to heal, regardless of delivery method. At your postpartum checkup around this time, the doctor or midwife will do an examand determine whether you’re cleared to resume sex and exercise.
Even if you had an uncomplicated birth experience, adjusting to all of the physical and emotional changes takes time. Mom Gracie X, an author who asked that we use her pen name, told HuffPost she was surprised by how “beat up” her body was after giving birth.
“It took me six weeks to feel ‘normal’ in terms of my girly parts — and I had a vaginal quick delivery!” she said. “Also, I felt like I was in a hormonal altered state, almost like I had a new and completely different body, swollen breasts, no sex drive and was hyperemotional.”
Many who get the green light to have sex at their postpartum appointment aren’t anywhere near ready to do so. In fact, according to a 2019 survey from Motherly, 38% of moms said it took six to 12 months after birth before they were interested in sex again. (On the other hand, 11% of respondents said they were interested in getting busy sooner than the six-week mark — which just goes to show you that the time it takes to feel ready again can vary quite a bit.)
Even if you aren’t the birthing partner — or if neither of you gave birth — sex post-baby can be a lot to contend with. You’re probably sleep-deprived, devoting what little energy you have to caring for a tiny human, and perhaps learning how to navigate your partner’s new body and fluctuating hormones.
To find out what sex after a baby is really like, we asked moms to share some of the unexpected things they discovered about the experience. (Responses have been lightly edited for length and clarity.)
1 Natural lubrication might be sorely lacking.
2 It’s not unusual for sex to be painful, at least at first. But it gets better with time.
3 Just because you had a C-section doesn’t mean you can jump back in the sack quickly — or that you’ll want to.
4 Sex toys will become your new best friends.
5 Breastfeeding can make you feel ‘touched out.’
6 If you have sex while nursing, you’ll probably leak milk.
7 Boob play might be off the table for a while.
8 In some ways, sex may actually be better after sharing this bonding experience with your partner.
9 When you’re short on downtime, you learn to embrace the quickie.
10
Don’t beat yourself up over a dry spell. Remember this is temporary.
“You get to say ‘no’ to sex. We love our partners and we want everyone happy and fulfilled, but if your body is still in recovery (from pushing an entire human out of it) or you’re tired, or your drive is just hard to muster, let sex slide for a little bit. Things will get better and more back to normal.
In the meantime, normalize solo sex in your relationship.” — Brunelle
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