The Missouri 'Hand-Pumper' has gotten his fair share of attention lately
'Fist Pumper to Fleeing Coward': Paper in Josh Hawley's Home State Calls Senator 'Laughingstock' in Op-Ed
Video of Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley fleeing rioters at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, has inspired a scathing op-ed in The Kansas City Star, a newspaper based in his state.
"Josh Hawley is a laughingstock," reads the first line of the editorial board–authored piece, which is headlined: "Fist pumper to fleeing coward: Jan. 6 video shows Missouri who Josh Hawley really is."
Hawley Concerned That Being a Coward Is Overshadowing His Work as a Fascist
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Josh Hawley is “deeply concerned” that his newfound national reputation for cowardice is overshadowing his commitment to end democracy.
“People see one video of me fleeing like a terrified bunny, and they think that’s all there is to me,” Hawley told reporters at a press conference. “They’re totally forgetting that I’m also a guy who tried to overturn a free and fair election.”
Hawley admitted that, although it is tempting to stereotype him as “a guy who was scared shitless of a mob he had egged on earlier in the day, that’s just one side of me. What about the side of me that wantonly subverts democracy? That should count for something.”
“People are focussing on the totally chickenshit Josh Hawley and ignoring the lusting-for-autocracy Josh Hawley,” he complained.
Hawley’s press conference was cut short after a reporter asked a question and the senator ran away.
Video Shows Josh Hawley Fleeing The Jan. 6 Rioters He Had Just Saluted
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