Tuesday, June 01, 2021

MEETING DETAILS: Mesa City Council (35 Meeting Records) Tentative for Mon 07.06.2021 @ 5:45 mpm

A few days in advance with two City Council Study Sessions scheduled before then - one this Thursday at 07:30 a.m.

NO AGENDA PUBLISHED SO FAR just two days ahead of time...

Today is 01.06.2021

Meeting Name: City Council Agenda status: Tentative
Meeting date/time: 6/7/2021 5:45 PM Minutes status: Draft  
Meeting location: Council Chambers
Published agenda: Agenda Agenda Published minutes: Not available  
Meeting video:  
Attachments:
File #Agenda #TypeTitleActionResultAction Details
21-0627 2MinutesApproval of minutes of previous meetings as written.  Not available
21-0613 3-aLiquor License ApplicationWe Were Born to Help Others This is a one-day event to be held on Saturday, June 19, 2021 from 8:00 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on Sunday, June 20, 2021 at Versalle’s Reception Hall located 1422 East Main Street. (District 4)  Not available
21-0588 3-bLiquor License ApplicationResidence Inn Phoenix Mesa A hotel is requesting a new Series 07 Beer and Wine Bar License for Collective Hospitality Mesa LP, 941 West Grove Avenue; Jeffrey Craig Miller, agent. This is an ownership transfer; therefore, the existing license held by CSM Hotel Management LLC will revert to the State for modification. (District 3)  Not available
21-0592 3-cLiquor License ApplicationBuddha’s Brew Coffee Cafe A café that serves breakfast and lunch is requesting a new Series 12 Restaurant License for Old Town Ink Mesa LLC, 710 East Main Street; Joshua C. Murphy, agent. There is no existing license at this location. (District 4)  Not available
21-0589 3-dLiquor License ApplicationGrab N Go A convenience store is requesting a new Series 10 Beer & Wine Store License for Kahpachi LLC, 9202 East Main Street; Luay Hanna, agent. The existing license held by Sapra Enterprises LLC will revert to the State. (District 5)  Not available
21-0590 3-eLiquor License ApplicationHome 2 Suites by Hilton Mesa Longbow A hotel is requesting a new Series 10 Beer and Wine Store License for Nortex Hotel Operating Company LLC, 5643 East Longbow Parkway; Andrea Dahlman Lewkowitz, agent. There is no existing license at this location. (District 5)  Not available
21-0591 3-fLiquor License ApplicationPick N Go A convenience store is requesting a new Series 10 Beer and Wine Store License for JR Retail LLC, 1530 North Country Club Drive, Suite 20; Jared Michael Repinski, agent. The existing license held by Running with Wolves LLC will revert to the State. (District 1)  Not available
21-0605 4-aContractPurchase of Audio/Visual Equipment (Replacement/Upgrade) for the Mesa Police Department (Citywide) The Police Training Division is requesting to make a purchase for audio/visual upgrades at the Mesa Public Safety Training Facility - Maltese Classroom and Multipurpose Classroom. The Police Department and Purchasing recommend authorizing the purchase using the Mohave cooperative contract with Corporate Technology Solutions, at $91,100, based on estimated requirements.  Not available
21-0608 4-bContractPurchase of 24 Duty Lockers (Replacements) for the Mesa Police Department (Citywide) This purchase will provide 24, new duty lockers for the Police Department, Airport Unit personnel assigned to Phoenix Mesa Gateway Airport. The existing lockers were transferred to the Police Department from the Fire Department over ten years ago. The current used lockers are well past their life expectancy. The Police Department and Purchasing recommend authorizing the purchase using the State of Arizona cooperative contract with Arizona Furnishings, at $47,773.71, based on estimated requirements.  Not available
21-0601 4-cContractPurchase of One 3D Scanner (Addition) for the Mesa Police Department (Sole Source) (Citywide) The Vehicular Crimes Unit will use this 3D scanner technology to accurately scan and document collision and crime scenes to produce a 3D virtual environment with capabilities to measure objects and evidence in a scene that can be provided to investigators and City Prosecutors. The Police Department and Purchasing recommend awarding the contract to the sole source vendor, FARO Technologies, Inc., at $69,103.29. This purchase is funded by the General Fund - Special Programs Fund.  Not available
21-0604 4-dContractPurchase of an Officer Training Simulator (Addition) for the Mesa Police Department (Sole Source) (Citywide) The APEX Officer Virtual Reality Training System will provide interactive testing and assessment and immersive hands-on scenario-based exercises with detailed debriefing and after-action review. The APEX system is designed to increase knowledge, skills and confidence in a safe, challenging environment that is interactive and engaging. The system will be an additional tool to train officers consistently and safely in the areas of decision making and threat recognition. The Police Department and Purchasing recommend awarding the contract to the sole source vendor, Govred Technology, Inc., at $66,000.  Not available
21-0607 4-eContractTwo-Year Term Contract with Three Years of Renewal Options for Household Hazardous Waste Facility Operational Support for the Environmental Management and Sustainability Department (Citywide) This contract will provide operational support for the Household Hazardous Materials Facility to include facility staffing, technical support, transportation, and disposal of hazardous materials, and various containers and supplies for hazardous materials sorting. An evaluation committee recommends awarding the contract to the highest scored proposal from Clean Harbors Environmental Services, Inc., at $450,000 annually, with an annual increase allowance of up to 5%, or the adjusted Consumer Price Index.  Not available
21-0609 4-fContractDollar-Limit Increase to the Term Contract for the Streetlight Monitoring System for the Transportation Department (Sole Source) (Citywide) Philips City Touch is a lighting management system for public lighting in support of Mesa's Smart Cities Initiative. In the City’s efforts to save energy and further customer service, Transportation Field Operations has expanded the pilot project with the Philips City Touch System to a complete citywide installation. The Transportation Department and Purchasing recommend increasing the dollar-limit with the sole source vendor, Arizona Electrical Distributors (a Mesa business), by $2,082,067.50 for Year 3, from $81,225 to $2,163,292.50 annually, with an annual increase allowance of up to 5%, or the adjusted Producer Price Index. This purchase is funded by the Local Streets Fund.  Not available
21-0602 4-gContractPurchase of One Compact Track Loader (Replacement) for the Transportation Department (Citywide) This compact track loader will be s a versatile piece of equipment that will enhance multiple Field Operations work groups. The primary use will be storm drain maintenance, which includes cleaning channels, mowing, and vegetation removal. In addition, this track loader can be used as a back-up for the alley clean-up program, right-of-way maintenance and any other areas where larger equipment is not an option. The skip loader that is being replaced has met established criteria and will be either traded, auctioned, sold, or deployed to special uses. The Fleet Services and Transportation Departments and Purchasing recommend authorizing the purchase using the Omnia Partners through the City of Tucson cooperative contract with Empire CAT (a Mesa business), at $119,127.86. This purchase is funded by the Local Streets Fund.  Not available
21-0610 4-hContractThree-Year Term Contract with Two Years of Renewal Options for Spray Marking Paint for the Materials and Supply Warehouse (for the Energy Resources Department) (Citywide) This contract provides marking spray paint for the Gas Division for utilities locators. Materials and Supply places orders and maintains stock inventory as needed. The Business Services Department and Purchasing recommend awarding the contract to the lowest, responsive, and responsible bidder, Copper State Bolt & Nut Co., at $75,000 annually, with an annual increase allowance of up to 5%, or the adjusted Producer Price Index.  Not available
21-0611 4-iContractPurchase of a Total Organic Carbon Analyzer and Autosampler (Addition) for the Water Resources Department) (Sole Source) (Citywide) This Total Organic Carbon (TOC) analyzer will be used to calibrate existing instrumentation performance to ensure regulatory compliance at the City's two Central Arizona Project Water Treatment Plants (Brown Road Water Treatment Plant and Signal Butte Water Treatment Plant). Reliability of the TOC instruments are vital to the water treatment operations of the plants. The Water Resources Department and Purchasing recommend awarding the contract to the sole source vendor, SUEZ WTS Analytical Instruments, Inc., at $40,000.  Not available
21-0606 4-jContractThree-Year Term Contract with Two Years of Renewal Options for Hayward Gordon Water and Wastewater Treatment Pumps, Equipment, Parts, and Services for the Water Resources Department (Citywide) This contract will provide Hayward Gordon equipment, parts, and services needed to maintain critical water and wastewater infrastructure. An evaluation committee recommends awarding the contract to the highest scored proposal from Hayward Gordon ULC, at $150,000 annually, with an annual increase allowance of up to 5%, or the adjusted Consumer Price Index.  Not available
21-0603 4-kContractPurchase of a Total Kjeldahl Nitrogen Analyzer (Replacement) and Term Contract for Supplies and Annual Maintenance for the Water Resources Department (Citywide) The Compliance Laboratory will utilize the TKN Analyzer to perform analysis on microbial and inorganic compliance samples from the City’s wastewater, biosolids ,and pre-treatment programs. The current TKN Analyzer in use in the Laboratory was purchased in 2011 and is approaching the end of its useful life. The initial purchase includes the device and subsequent years are for annual maintenance and supplies. The year 1 purchase includes the device. Subsequent years are for annual maintenance and supplies. An evaluation committee recommends awarding the contract to BUCHI, Corporation for Year 1, at $140,000, and Years 2 through 11, at $25,000 annually, with an annual increase allowance of up to 5%, or the adjusted Consumer Price Index.  Not available
21-0612 4-lContractThree-Year Term Contract with Two Years of Renewal Options for Technical Retro Commissioning of City Buildings for Citywide Departments (Citywide) Retro commissioning is a component of the Smart Cities initiative. Existing energy management systems will be assessed and building systems will be optimized to save energy, while maintaining current operational needs and comfort of building occupants. Environmental Management and Sustainability and Parks, Recreation and Community Facilities will use services provided by these qualified firms to evaluate conditions and efficiency of existing facilities, make quick fixes to improve conditions, and prepare a list of recommend capital improvements that reduce energy consumption and improve existing conditions. An evaluation committee recommends awarding the contract to the five, highest scored proposals from Bath Group, Inc., dba, Bath Commissioning Corporation (a Mesa business); McKinstry Essention, LLC; GLHN Architects & Engineers, Inc.; Stantec Consulting Services Inc., dba Stantec; and ETC Group, at $150,000 annually, with an annual  Not available
21-0579 4-mContractThe Studios @ Mesa City Center - Third Guaranteed Maximum Price (GMP No. 3) (District 4) This is the final GMP for The Studios @ Mesa City Center building renovation. The scope of work includes procurement and installation of finishes, concrete, materials, and other associated tasks. Staff recommends awarding the contract for GMP No. 3 to the selected Construction Manager at Risk, Okland Construction, in the amount of $3,480,733 (GMP) and authorizing a change order allowance in the amount of $174,037 (5%), for a total amount of $3,654,770. This project is funded by the Economic Investment Fund and General Fund - Capital.  Not available
21-0574 5-aResolutionVacating a portion of right-of-way, extinguishing two City utilities and facilities easements, and extinguishing an easement authorizing municipal and commercial vehicles to operate on private property, located at 950 East Main Street, to accommodate the development of Valleywise Health Center; requested by the property owner. (District 4)  Not available
21-0639 5-bResolutionApproving and authorizing the City Manager to accept, expend, and distribute grant funds from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, Continuum of Care Shelter Plus Care Grant, in the amount of $115,988. The City partners with Save the Family in the Continuum of Care Shelter Plus Care Program by providing rental assistance and related administrative services (funded by this grant), and case work and supported services that are funded through Save the Family. (Citywide)  Not available
21-0576 5-cResolutionApproving and authorizing the City Manager to enter into Amendment #2 to the Telecommunications License Agreement with Teleport Communications America, LLC, to allow for two additional five-year renewal terms for the continued use of the public rights-of-way for construction, placement, operation, and maintenance of a telecommunications network. (Citywide)  Not available
21-0622 5-dResolutionApproving and authorizing the City Manager to enter into a Foreign Trade Zone Operator Agreement for Foreign Trade Zone 221 with CMC Steel Fabricators d/b/a CMC Steel Arizona, that will designate a subzone to allow for the operation of a steel manufacturing facility at 11444 East Germann Road; Foreign Trade Zone No. 221. (District 6)  Not available
21-0626 5-eResolutionAuthorizing the City Manager to sign an application letter to the Foreign Trade Zones Board to reorganize Mesa Foreign Trade Zone #221 under the Alternative Site Framework. (District 6)  Not available
21-0596 5-fResolutionDesignating the Chief Fiscal Officer with the authority to submit the City’s 2021/2022 fiscal year Expenditure Limitation Report to the Arizona Auditor General on behalf of the City Council, as required by state statute. (Citywide)  Not available
21-0640 5-gResolutionAdopting a pension funding policy and accepting the employer’s share of assets and liabilities under the Public Safety Personnel Retirement System as required by A.R.S. §38-863.01. (Citywide)  Not available
21-0625 5-hResolutionApproving and authorizing the City Manager to enter into a First Amendment to the Agreement to Purchase Real Property and Escrow Instructions and a revised Development Agreement with EV Development, LLC for the development of approximately 0.9± acres of property generally located at the southeast corner or Pepper Place and Robson for a mixed-use project. The Amendment and revised Development Agreement modify development compliance dates and incorporate a requirement for approval of a separate Electric Distribution Facilities Design and Construction Agreement. (District 4)  Not available
21-0563 6-aOrdinanceANX21-00095 (District 1) Annexing property located north of McDowell Road and west of Lehi Road (41.5± acres). Initiated by the applicant, Sean Lake, Pew and Lake, P.L.C. for the owner, Cemex USA Construction Materials, Inc.  Not available
21-0567 6-bOrdinanceZON21-00089 (District 1) Within the 2600 to 2800 blocks of East Lehi Road (west side). Located north of McDowell Road and east of the 202 Red Mountain Freeway (41.8± acres). Rezone from Single Residence 43 (RS-43) to Single Residence 15 (RS-15) with a Planned Area Development Overlay (PAD). This request will allow the development of a single-residence subdivision. Sean Lake, Pew and Lake, PLC, applicant; Cemex USA Construction Materials, Inc., owner. Staff Recommendation: Approval with conditions P&Z Board Recommendation: Approval with conditions (Vote: 7-0)  Not available
21-0568 6-cOrdinanceZON21-00191 (District 1) Within the 2200 block of North Center Street (west side). Located north of McKellips Road and east of Country Club Drive (24.42± acres). Rezone from Agricultural (AG) and Light Industrial (LI) to Public/Semi Public (PS). This request will allow for development of a public facility. Valerie Ahyong - Engineering Department, City of Mesa, applicant; City of Mesa, owner. Staff Recommendation: Approval with conditions P&Z Board Recommendation: Approval with conditions (Vote: 7-0)  Not available
21-0564 6-dOrdinanceZON20-00786 (District 6) Within the 9700 block of East Southern Avenue (south side). Located west of Crismon Road on the south side of Southern Avenue (8.1± acres). Rezone from Planned Employment Park (PEP) to Multiple Residence 5 (RM-5) with a Planned Area development Overlay (PAD); and Site Plan Review. This request will allow for a multiple residence development. Sean Lake, Pew and Lake, PLC, applicant; Sunny Acres/Montgomery 320 LLC, owner. Staff Recommendation: Approval with conditions P&Z Board Recommendation: Approval with conditions (Vote: 7-0)  Not available
21-0565 6-eOrdinanceZON20-00872 (District 6) Within the 3800 to 4000 blocks of South Power Road (east side). Located south of Elliot Road on the east side of Power Road (overall 41.85± acres). Modification to an approved Planned Area Development Overlay (PAD) on a 41.85± acre property; rezone 10.8± acres of the 41.85± acre property from General Industrial (GI) PAD to Light Industrial (LI) PAD; and Site Plan Review on 39.5± acres of the 41.85± acre property. Jack Gilmore, Gilmore Planning and Landscape Architecture, applicant; Power Lender Partners LLC & Rockall Power LLC, owner. Staff Recommendation: Approval with conditions P&Z Board Recommendation: Approval with conditions (Vote: 7-0)  Not available
21-0572 6-fOrdinanceZON19-00507 (District 6) Within the 4000 block of South Power Road (east side). Located north of Warner Road on the east side of Power Road (25± acres). Rezone from Limited Commercial (LC) and Light Industrial (LI) to Light Industrial with a Planned Area Development Overlay (LI-PAD); and Site Plan Review. This request will allow for the development of a large-scale commercial recreation development. Pew & Lake, PLC, applicant; Cono Vertuccio and Vertuccio Family Limited Partnership, owners. Staff Recommendation: Approval with conditions P&Z Board Recommendation: Approval with conditions (Vote: 7-0)  Not available
21-0566 6-gOrdinanceZON21-00050 (District 6) Within the 1800 to 2000 blocks of South Sossaman Road (west side). Located north of Baseline Road on the west side of Sossaman Road (1.2± acres). Rezone from Single Residence 6 with a Planned Area Development overlay (RS-6-PAD), Office Commercial (OC), and Neighborhood Commercial (NC) to Multiple Residence 4 with a Planned Area Development (RM-4-PAD); and Site Plan Review. This request will allow for the development of a multiple residence development. Brian Sandstrom, ARCHISTRUCT, applicant; Superstition & Sossaman Road and Sossaman & Baseline Rd LTD Partnership, owners. Staff Recommendation: Approval with conditions P&Z Board Recommendation: Approval with conditions (Vote: 7-0)  Not available

Internal Migration / Inflows and Outflows / Tech Jobs to Tech Hubs / Jobs Unknown

Two different sources. Two stories
1 Bloomberg via LinkedIn
Note: Net migration rates are based on net flow per 10k tech company workers already in said metro area;

Austin Is Biggest Winner From Tech Migration, LinkedIn Data Show

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2 AZ Big Media via U.S. Census 2020
Phoenix is fastest-growing city in U.S. for 5th year in a row
Business News | 3 hours ago |

Phoenix also leads the country in 10-year population growth, adding almost 260,000 people since 2010, an 18.1 percent population increase. San Antonio’s 234,000 10-year increase is second in the nation, also an 18.1 percent population jump.

Say “hi” to 25,194 new neighbors. They pushed Phoenix way out in front making this the fifth year in a row that it is the fastest growing city in America.

The 25,194 new Phoenix residents this year is slightly below the 10-year average of 25,912, however Phoenix continues to take the largest share of Maricopa County’s population growth, with nearly four in 10 new county residents choosing to live in the city of Phoenix.


READ ALSO: The 10 best places to move in Arizona in 2021


The U.S. Census Bureau’s 2020 estimates say that Phoenix now tops 1.7 million in population and added more new residents than any other city.

Queen Creek topped Arizona in percentage population growth, 10.0 percent, with its population jumping from 55,000 in 2019 to 60,097 in 2020. That positioned the town with the seventh-fastest growing percentage in the U.S. Buckeye was second in Arizona with a 7 percent growth rate.

Phoenix’s growth rate, 1.5 percent lags behind the County’s 1.9 percent growth rate.

The city is still the fifth-largest U.S. city behind New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Houston, . . 

Tucson is still Arizona’s second largest city with its population growing 0.8 percent to 553,571, a gain of 4,610 people.

Mesa had a 1.9 percent growth, pushing the population to 528,129.  At that rate, they will overtake Tucson as the second largest city within five years. 

Here in Mesa: THE DATA CENTER HUSTLE (by Jon Talton Post-Date May 31,2021)

It's about time Rogue Columnist Jon Talton warmed-up his pen and hit on this subject:
May 31, 2021
 
"Data centers becoming dominant force in Mesa," reads the headline on a recent East Valley Tribune story. The lede: "It may never rival Silicon Valley, but Mesa is fast becoming Data Center Alley." 
 

This "Alley" isn't transforming struggling west Mesa and it's nowhere near the light-rail line. Instead, it's centered on the "Elliott Avenue Technology Corridor" in far southeast Mesa, the location of agriculture, desert, and the former Williams Air Force Base. Now, with abundant concrete, gravel, and asphalt, it will expand the increasingly dangerous Phoenix urban heat island. The "Corridor" is entirely car dependent.

Data centers are lowest on the ladder of the tech economy: necessary, but bringing few jobs — much less high-end jobs — and several headaches. This is why they are usually found in rural areas desperate to replace their lost millwork, manufacturing, or railroad jobs. States and localities shell out huge incentives and disappointment follows.

But to see the proliferation of data centers in a city the size of Mesa (518,000 in 2019), in the 10th most populous metropolitan area in the nation, is curious.

A Google data center for Mesa announced in 2019, lured with tax breaks, would create few permanent jobs. Even the much-hyped Apple "global command center" is merely a big data center, promising only 150 full-time positions.

By comparison, Amazon's headquarters in downtown Seattle holds more than 50,000 high-paid executive and software engineer jobs. At nearby Redmond, Microsoft has 54,000 employees at its headquarters. Every major Big Tech firm from Silicon Valley has major operations there (no data centers). This is the headwaters of high tech.

Another problem with Data Center Alley: These massive server farms are water hogs. Elsewhere, they contribute to climate change because of their enormous appetite for electricity. Maybe Palo Verde Nuclear Generating Station helps Mesa here. It's only built upwind of the nation's fifth most populous city.

And no evidence has emerged that data centers are a gateway to more advanced tech work. Metro Phoenix got nowhere in its bid for Amazon HQ2. Any "exodus" from the Bay Area has benefited an established center of quality, Austin. Google is building a transformative new campus in downtown San Jose, close to light rail and commuter trains to San Francisco. The best talent digs great cities.

Read more closely and it's clear that Mesa's "technology corridor" is yet another Arizona real-estate hustle, dependent on cheap farmland and tilt-up buildings, plus a heapin' helping of tax breaks — in a state that ranks second from last in per-student funding.

"It may never rival Silicon Valley...."  It couldn't. Silicon Valley is sui generis, with no rival in the world. The former Valley of Heart's Delight became the world leader in high tech because of proximity to world-class universities and talent, the emergence of top companies, serial entrepreneurs, the greatest concentration of angel and venture capital on the planet, and a history of innovation that dates back to "the traitorous eight" who founded such pillars as Intel.

Sunshine, the real-estate Ponzi scheme, and a flat tax leaves you in a blind alley."

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RELATED CONTENT ON THIS BLOG
This Year 2019
Data firms flocking to Mesa’s tech corridor        
Bill Jabjiniak, Mesa’s economic development director, said the boom is no coincidence and represents eight years of planning to lure the high-tech companies and their high-paying jobs to Mesa.
“I would tell you this is a vision that started eight years ago,’’ Jabjiniak said, saying it was back then that he and his colleagues started assembling the infrastructure vital to data centers.
Jabjiniak listed the three critical elements that laid the groundwork for what is happening today:
The relatively cheap power from the Salt River Project, because electricity is the biggest cost to data centers is a big draw . . .
Alos citing availability of redundant fiber for Internet access as a desireable criteria. Mesa invested in an “e-streets program years ago,’’ Jabjiniak said, installing empty underground conduits so companies could lay fiber optic cables when necessary.
Note: The difference from the image used by Jim Walsh
in his "Special to The Tribune
With streamlined zoning approval, it eliminats months of delays. Mesa created a tech corridor zoning overlay, allowing tech companies to “opt in’’ to the special zoning available and to have plans approved administratively. . ."
(self-certified that is for that expedited streamlined process)
 
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Public oversight is assured because the City Council must approve a development agreement with the companies before construction begins.
“I think it’s starting to blossom. It’s growing before our eyes,’Jabjiniak said. “I think there is more to come.’’
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2018
_______________________________________________________________________
HERE'S IT IS JUST 3 DAYS AGO > on the back of taxpayers 
Mesa to sink $10 million into Elliot Road expansion for tech corridor

TallyHo Brits! By Gosh They Didn't Know Where To Find It > The Misunderstood Clitoris

Of all the news stories on Memorial Day there were few if any about sex and pleasure

The lost and lonely clitoris: why can so few people find it?

Mon 31 May 2021 11.18 EDT

Last modified on Mon 31 May 2021 12.59 EDTA 3D model of a clitoris.

 

In a recent survey, more than a third of people in the UK mislabelled this vital part of female anatomy. So where is it – and what is it for?

More
Name: The clitoris.

Age: As old as men and – possibly more importantly – women themselves, would you Adam and Eve it? Older still, for non-creationists.

How so? In Greek mythology, after the prophet Tiresias was turned into a woman for seven years – as punishment (!) for bothering snakes (!) – he was questioned by Hera and Zeus about who got most pleasure from intercourse, men or women.

And? He said women.

Because of his clitoris? Possibly.

What did Hera think of that? Not a lot, she blinded him.

But that is the point of it, right? Sexual pleasure? Well, the clitoris activates a series of sexual responses – unless you’re a female spotted hyena, in which case you urinate, mate and give birth via your (admittedly and, thankfully, larger) clitoris.

So it’s not just female humans who have them then? Other mammals also. And ostriches.

And how big is it, in female humans? Well, the phrase “pea-sized” gets bandied around a lot, but this is another example of how the organ has been misunderstood down the ages. Its nerves and blood vessels extend extensively into the pelvis, in fact about 90% of its bulk lies beneath the surface …

Quickly altering course, to starboard … Is the clitoris etymologically interesting, as well as anatomically so? Yes, as it happens. It probably derives from the Greek kleitoris, which has been translated as “small hill” and “to rub”, perhaps suggesting a play on words.

But this is really about location, isn’t it? Always. Location, location, location.

Hard to find, is it? Go on, what’s the latest? Most people in the UK can’t name all the parts of vulva. In a survey, half of Britons couldn’t identify the urethra, while 37% mislabelled the clitoris …

Men, presumably. The women surveyed didn’t do any better. Poor lonely clitoris, no one can find you.

Well, it’s hard to see, down there. There’s always mirrors. And friends. Have you tried Google Maps?

I have now, and I’ve found it! Monte Clitoris, on Luzon, in the Philippines. There’s even a Catholic church on its lower slopes, rather perfectly. Lovely.

Do say: “Our lack of knowledge about women’s anatomy raises important questions about women’s health, and should be talked about seriously and sensibly.”

Don’t say: “I’ll just set up the satnav.”

 

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